So my second pouch study is this Thursday, August 4th. Nerves are starting to kick in now. My brother read my blog and laughed at me saying that vagina is a medical term so I can stop using "female area" or whatever I was writing before, so okay. My test is at 10am and my mom is going with me for support. She told me the other night that either my surgeon will want me to wait a few more months to see if the fistula heals or he'll want to do surgery on it...either way I'll have to deal with it. I really don't want another surgery because that will prolong this wait even more. I just want the bag off dammit.
I am hoping that the fistula is healed but I have been having some leakage from somewhere "down there" and my paranoid self is thinking the fistula is still there and that the leaking is coming from my vagina. I'm trying to stay positive and think that it will all be peachy but my gut is telling me otherwise. Deep down I know it's not the end of the world but it feels like it sometimes. I still feel "why me" sometimes and have been feeling more anxious lately.
Just a little update. I saw my primary physician the other day and I have low blood pressure and I'm only 97.2 lbs!!!! I almost died when I read the scale. My stupid scale at home had been saying 100lbs..what a bummer that was. So I've only gained 2 pounds since I left the hospital in March?!?! Unbelievable. I guess the good thing is that people have been saying I look healthier and don't look dead anymore, lol. Actually, it's really not funny because I did look dead. But hopefully they're being truthful that I do look healthier.
I'm sure I'll be on here over the weekend at some point either venting that the fistula didn't heal or jumping in excitement that it did...
Feeling the suspense?? I sure am.
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